When you take a leap of faith. Change the direction of your future. Change the direction of your career or lifestyle. Change. Of any kind. You will need: Courage. Faith. Determination. Patience. Persistence. Surrender.
Pretty much in that order. Throwing in some fear, excitement, discouragement, uncertainty, joy, self fulfillment, anxiety, failure, overwhelm, pride. To name a few.
I have been a busy bee and felt inspired to update my blog on my yoga journey since returning from Thailand. How I’ve fared going through the motions.
5 months post yoga certification:
I spent the first few months after returning from Thailand feeling like I was wandering and lost. Didn’t know which way was up. Had no idea where I wanted to go, let alone how to get there. I didn’t feel prepared to teach. Didn’t feel confident or worthy of a position to teach anywhere. Started researching more training. After having little direction and vision and an abundance of frustration realizing building a business would not be a quick or easy feat, I surrendered. Not to be confused with giving up. Just surrendering my relentless nature to force or control the future. For the first time in my life I surrendered to “going with the flow.” I stopped worrying about “what’s next” and stressing and being anxious about not making forward progress. I decided to take life one day at a time. I put myself out there, sometimes at the risk of stepping outside of my comfort zone and into precarious “yogi socials” (a story for another time,) and made myself available to opportunity. And guess what… It came knocking. Just short of falling in my lap. You know that feeling when the stars just seem to align for you?
For the past two months I’ve been subbing at Sisters Yoga studio. (I was told this is the first step in teaching yoga. Check that box off.) Basically picking up classes on an as-needed basis and building relationships with students. I have been able to gain confidence and also experience. But I yearned for more. It’s not easy showing up to a class and having to fill someone else’s shoes. When students walked in and saw me for the first time in place of the instructor they expected I received a look of disappointment and sometimes, “oh… is _____ not teaching today?” Nope. You got me. Then I spent the next hour in my head hoping I was not going too hard on them or being too soft. Completely consumed with anxiety. But this too subsided with experience and students telling me how much they enjoy my classes.
No one wants to settle for only being a sub for other instructors. But I have been patient- still persistent- while having faith that “what’s next” would present itself on its own… without me forcing anything. As it has, in hindsight, from the very beginning of this journey. [To be honest, while writing this I had to count how many months have passed since I completed my certification and I can’t believe it’s only been five. I’m proud of where I’ve made it in such a short amount of time. But will admit each week felt more like a lifetime.] It sounds a bit corny and probably cliche, but this has been a true testament to the theory, “you get out what you put in.” You know, that whole karma thing. I made a commitment to myself to accept every subbing opportunity, reasoning that, how could the universe give me more when I don’t accept what’s right in front of me, right now? I needed to do my time.
Naturally, since I first began subbing I daydreamed about my next milestone. Having my own class. The opportunity to build a following, express myself through my yoga and have the freedom to explore my creativity. My class! I told the owner of the studio for the first time this past Saturday that I hoped she would consider giving me my own class should the circumstances arise.
Hey, I tried. There was no longer any doubt in my mind if there was any doubt in her mind about what I wanted from my experience at her studio.
Two days later she texted asking if I’d be interested in taking over Monday night classes as the current instructor had just put in her two weeks notice. I’m getting two classes a week! My own classes! Freedom to teach the yoga my heart so desires to! Students will come to the classes expecting me. I’m sure to an outsider this doesn’t seem like a big deal. But this is huge for me. Unfortunately, I learned rather quickly the yoga world is a dog-eat-dog world and you’ll likely not get even a push in the right direction from a fellow instructor. It’s difficult to get your foot in the door with a market flooded with yoga instructors and most are looking out for number one. But I started this journey just me, myself and I… how naive of me to think that would change any time soon. It’s quite empowering, really.
That being said, I’ve been so fortunate to have an amazing friend/mentor along the way. She told me back before I even knew how I would afford to get certified that anything is possible. She said, “make a vision board. Look at it every morning. And watch it all unfold.” And unfold it has. She has reminded me ever since I completed my certification to be patient. That happiness and contentment go hand in hand. That all I have to do is be present; in the now. Enjoy where I am now. The journey. I’m so grateful to have a friend to remind me chill the fuck out. To breathe. To just be.
I’ve learned (and remind myself often) there’s plenty of time for growth. But for now, enjoy THIS step. Today.
I. am. right. where. I. am. supposed. to. be. right. now.
I will always have my eye on the sky… I can’t help it. But hope to never reach the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
Onward and upward!
Next up, branching out. Networking. Do Work!